Today's Blog..."Self-Care."

The two most hated words known to man—or at least to me.

Originally, I was going to write this blog mostly for women. Then I realized something: men need to hear this too.

Toward the end of my government career, I began noticing a trend. People were hurting—emotionally and physically. The demands of the job were taking a toll on everyone, and the cracks were beginning to show.

Suddenly, Employee Assistance Program (EAP) sessions became more common. Counselors were being brought in for training, which ironically meant squeezing even more into an already packed schedule. It felt like we were trying to fix burnout by giving people one more thing to do.

If you were married, maybe you vented to your spouse after work. But unless your spouse also worked in the same field, it was almost impossible for them to truly understand what was happening behind the scenes. They listened, they cared, but they hadn't lived it.

As I look back over the last 17 years, I've come to realize something that took me far longer than it should have.

No one is coming to save me.

Not my job.

Not my supervisor.

Not the people I supervised.

Not my spouse.

At the end of the day, the only person responsible for protecting my own physical and mental well-being is me.

It really shouldn't have taken me nearly two decades to figure that out. It's certainly not rocket science.

But somewhere along the way, I think many of us convince ourselves that once this surge is over, once staffing improves, once the inspection is finished, once things "slow down," then we'll finally start taking care of ourselves.

The truth is...that day rarely comes.

Life just keeps moving.

Work keeps demanding.

If we aren't intentional about taking care of ourselves, we'll wake up one day wondering where the last twenty years went.

My recent trips to the local Pilates studio in town have shown me the benefits of taking time out of my busy day to focus on the weird aerial aerobics/acrobatic moves I’ve been attempting (this is where I insert my thanks to Leticia for talking me into joining).

Anyone who knows me knows damn well I am NOT one for working out, but I’ve found that it makes my day less stressful, keeps my mind occupied, and most importantly—it helps me relax and have better focus at the task at hand.

It forces me to slow down and focus on something completely different than work, deadlines, or everything else constantly running through my head, and surprisingly, I leave feeling better than when I walked in. I didn’t realize how much stress I was carrying until I actually gave myself permission to put it down for an hour.

So, to my fellow people still in the field—take your annual leave. Use your wellness hours. Sign up for that garden class. Take that vacation. Go get that massage. Stay up to date on all your medical/dental appointments.

Work will be there when you get back.

As Juan famously tells me: “If you die tomorrow, the government will still be moving forward, with or without you.”

I always found that line annoying as a younger government employee – but he was right. We often act like everything depends on us being constantly “on,” but the reality is the mission continues whether we are rested or running on empty.

You show up better when you actually take care of yourself, instead of constantly living in fight or flight mode, (shoutout to Leticia again 😊).

Girls—take off early one day this week and grab happy hour with your best friend.

Guys—reach out to a friend you haven’t talked to in a while and go grab a bite at the local bar and grill.

It doesn’t have to be anything big. Just reconnect, step away from work, and remember there’s a whole life outside of it.